Adult Dating

Lets face it, when it comes to adult dating, people are not always genuine…or at least upfront.  Sure, it would be nice if people were forthcoming with their intentions, but that’s not how things work in the world, especially when it comes to online adult dating.

Obviously, in the adult dating world some people are “playas“.  What is not so obvious are the people that need to keep people on the peripheral.  The people who need satellites consisting of others that comprise or make up a support group.  The satellite individuals in this support group will never get to close to these needy people on any real type of intimate level concerning adult dating.  These satellites are not in “let’s just be friends land”, they are somewhere else.  Further out yet closer in some ways.

Each person has certain aspects to their personalities.  Almost to the effect of having different persona’s.  For instance, the fed up you, the happy you, the passionate about this or that you, this is your hobby, this is your pet peeve…  Chances are, you will not be able to find one person that agrees with everything you believe in, and this is natural.  Besides, who would want to be with someone that is on the exact same page as themselves?

Back to the point, sort of.  The person I’m talking about “needs” to find others to talk with concerning certain aspects of their persona’s.  They may need to feed the sex aspect of one of their inner personae but can’t do that with the people in their circle of friends that they interact with in day to day life.  They require something a little more…anonymous.  They may also require someone in their life that will satisfy the moral aspect of their personalities, akin to confessing to a priest.  Again, the theme here is that the target or satellite needs to be far enough away.  A certain impersonal requirement must be met in order to cultivate a sustained outlet for the satisfaction of the aspect at hand.

Online adult dating sites are a great way for people to meet others and find what they are looking for.  As a member of an adult dating site, you have to be aware that these people exist.  They are almost akin to the scammers that litter the Internet.  When you meet such a person, or are targeted by a person with such intentions, they will absolutely not tell you why they want a relationship with you.  They will not tell you what their intentions are because they may not even realize that they are in fact affected by the needs of certain aspects of their personae.   If they told you what they wanted from you from the beginning, this would not be a “problem”.  It would not be underhanded or shifty.

The bottom line is that while you are meeting people at an online adult dating site, beware of people like this.  They are a different breed of people that most people have a hard time spotting.  Maybe you chat with someone you met on an adult dating site and all they want to talk about is sex.  Maybe every conversation you have always turns into the same theme, every time you chat.  If so, this is a good indication that the person at the other end of the chat is using you to focus on and satisfy one of the needs that they have.  If you can never get out of the moral conversation and elevate it to something a little more “frisky” (which is normal between two people that are attracted to one another), then chances are you are simply the “moral” guy.  Similar to when you were in high school and the girl you liked was having sex with everyone else but never thought of you that way.

These types of people at adult dating sites can get your hopes up.  They can get you going in a sexual manner and in the opposite way as in, “This person is the one!  We click and see (this subject) the exact same way!”.  Of course, when you want to meet this person in person, they retreat and throw a weird vibe your way.  If you’ve had this happen to you then you know what I’m referring to.  Maybe it is starting to make sense to you now.

In closing, always go into any type of relationship with your eyes open.  Don’t give in blindly to your own needs and let others take advantage of you.  It is very easy to fall into this, especially when it comes to adult dating.  Once you are able to spot these types of people, you can either choose not to interact with them or you can accept them for who they are and still have fun and maintain a “different” type of adult dating relationship with them.  Once you have spotted them it is up to you to decide how you wish to proceed.

I hope this was clear enough and helpful to some of you.  Keep in mind that the above is only my opinion and how I see things.  It is not documented in terms of a psychological absolute (as far as I know).  This is just one of my personal theories.

Knowledge is power!  Have fun and have  fuitful and safe online adult dating experiences.

You know who you are.  You are not kind to the world of adult dating.  I know, you’ve been hit on by the wrong guys for so long that you do not want give guys the time of day.  You know what though, the right guys can spot you a mile away.  We don’t talk to you because you will act like a bitch to us before we can even say hello.  You can’t spot us so well, but we are the guys that shoot you a look and roll our eyes with that look saying “puhleeze”.  You know, the look that you shoot at everyone.

You are so sold on your looks that all you do is bitch and complain about men.  You begin to play games with them to get things that you want.  You will always find the wrong type of guy.  It’s a creature of your own doing at this point.  You’ve stopped giving guys a chance to talk to you.  I don’t feel bad for you, and neither do the rest of the good guys.  You see, we give you the same treatment you’ve given us.  You’ve successfully made yourself unapproachable by the right guys.  That’s why you attract all of the wrong guys.  Think about it.

You have really put yourself in a bad spot here.  Now, all of the good guys are going to treat you as if they are bad guys because they do not trust you.  They know you have attitude.  And not in a good way.  So what’s a hot girl to do?  It depends.

First off, if you truly want to meet a good guy you have to make yourself approachable.  Yes, that means trying to have an actual normal conversation with an actual man.  Crazy idea, isn’t it.  You have to prove that you do not have a bad attitude in order to be taken seriously.  You actually have act nice and normal.  Oh yeah, and mature.  If you don’t know what that is, just look it up.  You can find it in a book called the dictionary.

Oh well, I know this post won’t change the world.  I know it may sound a little harsh, but this is how us good guys see it.  Don’t shoot the messenger (not that your opinion means anything to me).

Oh yeah, and please, please stay off the online line adult dating sites.  We do not want you there.  You are not welcome and we will harass you, lol.

: -)

You’ve heard of DUI (driving under the influence), and now you are going to learn about CUI (chatting under the influence) and how it can ruin an online adult dating prospect.  Everyone likes to have fun now and then, but make sure your “fun having” does not disrupt your adult dating experience.

We’ve all heard of it, we all know of it and yet…we all still do it.  You’re with your friends and you decide to tie one on for the evening.  You and your friend part ways at the closing of the evening.  But you are just getting going now.  You couldn’t just leave it at a good night.  You quickly recollect that adult dating member you are anxious to talk to again.  Let’s send that adult dating member an email!  Better yet. let’s see if that adult dating member is online and up for a chat!

Ah ha!  You’re in luck!  That adult dating member IS online.  You initiate a chat.  The adult dating member accepts and you begin to type.  What makes sense in your mind is really nothing more than a streaming of babble akin to sour milk that is polluting the screen with your minutiae.  You think you are a king saying all of the right things to his people.  You are the greatest man alive.  If she does not like what you are saying, it must be the adult dating members fault for not realizing who you are.  You are the shit after all.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  But when you wake up the next day and the haze starts to lift after a few minutes, it hits you.  Oh shit, what the hell did I do last night?  Did I…no, I didn’t.  But you did.  And you know it.

You rush to the computer to see what you may have fired off in an email to that adult dating member.  As you begin to read, your jaw is dropping, widening with every line you read.  You quickly realize that you have not only made a complete ass of yourself, but you have unequivocally drove that one adult dating member away.  That one adult dating member that you were sure you could have really connected with and possibly have formed a meaningful adult relationship.  You slap your forehead…hard.

The moral of the above is simple.  You know you are not supposed to do it…so don’t!  Don’t let a little fun ruin your adult dating experiences.  Adult dating is difficult enough as it is, so don’t screw up your opportunities.  Learn from your mistakes and you will have a great and fruitful adult dating experience.